Breastfeeding & Weight-loss: It's Practically the Same Thing

When you hear breastfeeding and weight-loss you automatically think, duh you lose weight when you BF, right? If you haven’t read my previous post about this, now is a good time to learn what that’s all about (SPOILER ALERT: It doesn’t always work that way) Well, it’s not so much what they have to do with each other as much as it is about what YOU need to do to be successful in either of these feats. Yes, breastfeeding and losing weight are both feats and if you do both together... Well then good for you (insert eye roll).

What I’m trying to say is that these are both LIFESTYLES they are not a  thing that you just “TRY” Please do not make me stand on my soapbox and go on about how irritating it is to hear anyone say “I’m going to try to breastfeed we’ll see what happens”. Ok, this is quitting before you even start and giving yourself a huge door to exit stage left and not feel bad about it. Like how believable is it when you see someone with a shopping cart full of junk food and they say oh well I’m trying to lose weight, you basically want to laugh right?! Same difference with BF’ing.

These lifestyles require the same type of preparation from you mentally, emotionally and physically. I think if people realized what either really took they would be more supportive of others going through it as well as better prepare themselves to do either.

1. FAIL TO PREPARE, PREPARE TO FAIL: 

Weight Loss: If you do not prepare in advance you are setting yourself up to fail in the sense that you will not stay consistent and you will cheat. If you don’t stock your fridge and cabinets with healthy food you will revert to fast food junk or anything you can get your hands on in a fit of hunger. If you prepare your meals in advance, you won’t go out and be tempted. If you make your schedule in advance and commit to gym/workout times you won’t be so quick to skip them. 

Breastfeeding: You have to prepare yourself during pregnancy! Do not wait until that baby is in your arms to be like oh yea lets give this a shot. 30min with a Lactation Consultant in the hospital is NOT enough. Read your books, order your pump- watch videos on how to use it, take or sit in on a breastfeeding class. Buy everything you will need postpartum to help with BF (ie, nursing pads, pumps, nursing tanks & bras, nipple butter, support pillow, nipple shield) It’s basically preparing for war and your enemy is your tiny and VERY hungry newborn baby. 

2. IT TAKES A VILLAGE:

WL: If you do not have the support of your partner/family or friends it makes the journey very difficult. It tests your will power 10x if your spouse is eating spicy fried wings and you're trying to munch on a salad like it’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever had in your life. Also if your the person who mainly cooks and they do not want to eat what your making, this can make for some trouble Or your friends keep inviting you out and tell you hey just eat it, screw your diet You need those close to you to be on board with your goals and help keep you on the straight and narrow. Maybe even make you a healthy meal when your feeling defeated. 

BF:  We already know it takes a village to raise a baby, but guess what mom needs that village too. Those late nights with your sore nipples and a baby who just can’t seem to ever be satisfied you want your partner to say hey do you need some water, prop your pillow , etc. NOT hey let me just make a bottle of formula so you can get a break. It’s not done in malice but it DOES NOT HELP! Help is your husband getting you an ice pack for your Nips after a cluster feed run, your mom making you loaded oatmeal and lactation tea, your mother-in-law doing diaper changes and burping so you can get a moment to yourself between feeds. 

3.  SET GOALS, LOTS OF THEM!:

WL: You need to have mini-goals to get you along, saying I’m going to lose 50lbs is like climbing Everest and when your in those beginning weeks that can be such a daunting premise that it would be easier to just quit. Set lots of small achievable goals along the way and celebrate all the victories. Lost 5lbs, pat on the back, those pre-pregnancy jeans fit...get it , girl! You can also set goals with your workouts and your meals  set new personal records you have to enjoy the journey and not only see the end result. 

BF: Same as above saying you will exclusively breastfeed for your child’s 1st yr is DAUNTING AF. Like that is a lot of pressure and so much can happen along the way that you couldn’t even plan for. So take it feed by feed, day by day you have to be flexible and you have to be realistic with your expectations. I started with 2 weeks, then 1month then 3m then another 3m that was just to make it to 6months! Once we hit that huge milestone we celebrated and then set NEW achievable goals. Same if you are pumping you have to take it one session at a time and give yourself a huge pat on the back for every one of those goals crushed along the way. 

4.  YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING, GET HELP!

WL: You can follow 234203972835 Fitness accounts on IG and watch 1mill Youtube videos , guess what it doesn’t make you a pro at health and fitness (sorry fake IG fitness accounts with your copy & paste meal plans and Gymshark leggings LOL) This is to say  that you have to keep learning as you go and as your goals change, it is very common to hit a plateau and you need to learn how to keep going. This could mean meeting with a nutritionist, hiring a trainer, taking a workout class, having a wellness coach guide you along. Do not be afraid to reach out and get real help! It’s ok to not know everything and it takes courage to reach out for help

BF: So you read 3 blogs religiously while pregnant, watched a youtube video or 10, follow all the lactation supplement company IG accounts and you saw the LC once while in the hospital… it still may not be enough. Disappointing I know, but guess what I do this for a living and I needed help and it takes a very strong..or very defeated woman to say hey I need to call in the pros.  Babies change after the hospital, babies change all the damn time just when you think you got this mom thing on lock they switch it up on you and guess what sometimes you need a home visit from the LC or you have to attack the Pediatrician with 50 questions that you wrote down on your phone. Do not be afraid to ask for professional help, before you reach the point of even contemplating quitting.

5.  HATERS GON HATE

WL: Prepare yourself for people to doubt you and question you like it's the Spanish Inquisition on what your doing to lose weight, give their unwanted opinion about it or project their personal beliefs on how you should or shouldn’t look. Gosh forbid you post about your journey on social media there will be commentary guess what F THEM! Do you boo, and even if you fail 1000x and get up 1001x this is your life and your journey! Do not let other people rain on your parade because believe me you when you reach your goals and you’re looking summertime fly they are going to ask how you did it. Get your mind and your defenses right. Do not be easily swayed or talked out of what you want, because of the opinions of others.

BF: I think this needs its own blog but to scratch the surface, you will have Jealous Betties who will want to tell you their horror stories and obstacles about why they couldn’t or didn’t BF and tell you “Goodluck” laced with all the sarcasm in the world. You will have people comment about how, when and where you feed them , how long you plan to and why can’t you just give them a bottle. Guess what it's not their tits or kid so what they say doesn’t matter. Just have a good rebuttal for this ridiculous commentary or just ignore the crap out of them , either‌ ‌way, prepare yourself so you don’t fall victim to their Hater Parade. You also have to watch out for the Crazy Karens who fed like 10 kids until they were 5 and 3 of them were at the same time so Gosh forbid you complain about it or say you supplement to these kinds of women. 

6.  SACRIFICE = SUCCESS

WL: You cannot keep the same food in your cabinet, same morning routine, same avoiding the gym like the plague,  same social calendar, the same long list of Netflix shows to binge while trying to reach new goals. You have to sacrifice from your “OLD” life to start leading a new one and if you really think you can just add meal prepping and gym into your current routine without sacrifice guess what is going to happen? Those new additions will quickly be eliminated because they feel inconvenient, yes it will be uncomfortable but if your old life made you so happy you wouldn't be trying to better yourself now. Weight loss is not only a physical journey but a mental one and you have to sacrifice your old ways

BF: do not expect to be an IG mom, do not expect to go right back to your pre-pregnancy routine or expect that month to month life will be exactly how you planned. Also, do not hold yourself to a formula feeding mom standard, life is completely different when you breastfeed. You sacrifice certain outfits to make sure you can easily access a boob, you sacrifice 2 or 3 drinks for 1, laying on your stomach to sleep, having to pump regularly if you do that, not taking certain meds, eliminating foods if it affects your baby. Basically, the entire process is sacrificing your autonomy for the ability to feed your baby your liquid gold. If you do not adequately understand how much you have to personally sacrifice to BF beforehand you will be easily frustrated and disappointed and more likely to quit.

7. MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY

WL: Deciding to lose weight and get healthy is a form of self-care and to do that  you have to make YOU a priority. If along the way you do not keep yourself and your goals as a priority you will not be successful, because you will let it fall to the wayside and life will get in the way. You cannot compromise on/with yourself. It IS a lifestyle change so you cannot expect to keep everything the same and accomplish something new and hard. Your priority list has got to shift and you have to be numero UNO! Yes, even as a wife, mom, daughter or employee. You cannot pour from an empty cup you can not put yourself last. Stay committed to you and your goals, you have to be your own non-negotiable

BF: Yes you have a new baby to care for and feed, a dog to walk a house to clean a husband to love, a job to work at, friends to brunch with. Guess what you cannot do it all without crashing and burning, STRESS is breastfeeding’s arch-nemesis. If you are tired, rundown and stressed your supply will go down and what does that breed…? A horrific vicious cycle of a now dwindling supply, supplementing and then weaning and probably a lot more stress and guilt at these turn of events. You cannot pour from an empty cup...or feed from a stressed boob. You have to eat and drink and rest mama, go back to #2 IT TAKES A VILLAGE, take any and all help.  You have to make you a priority for you to be the best possible mama to that baby and this goes for all moms not only BF ones. If you do not stop and make sure self-care is somewhere on that to-do list you will suffer and as will everyone around you. News flash getting rid of that pile of laundry doesn’t nourish your baby, help you rest or really make a shit bit of difference in the long run. You will get to it eventually, I mean you will need clean underwear at some point lol BUT it does not go ahead of YOU on the to do list. 

8. ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

WL: Enjoy the process, take the before and after pics, relish in all the non-scale victories, be damn proud when you set a new personal record in the gym. When someone asks if you lost weight you say HELL YEA and exactly how much! You have to enjoy this journey because it is not forever, eventually, you will reach your goal, set new ones like maintaining, heck even maybe ready to gain!...gain muscle that is. Either way, this is just a moment in your life, this is a time to enjoy because guess what if you don’t enjoy along the way and feel good about yourself, you will lose those 50lbs and still be miserable or never satisfied.

BF: Despite what you may think after your 6th feed of the day and the sun is still out, no you will not be breastfeeding forever. I mean some people do it well into toddlerhood but still, even that comes to an end one day that little glutton or maybe you, will decide to wean and that is the end of this tumultuous beautiful journey. So enjoy the little moments, stare into your babies eyes, relish in being able to hold them in your arms because the days are long but the years are short. There will be many an ugly, tear-filled, bloody nippled, spilled milk day along the way but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will look back at this time with so many emotions but that’s all that will be left, memories. Don’t get caught up in the small nuances of it, it changes as baby gets older, your struggles at week 2 are not your struggles at month 6. Enjoy the nice parts of it along the way! 

9. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

WL: You cannot start a weight loss journey with the same mindset you had prior, because then you will fall victim to those habits and decisions. 

“If you will change, everything will change for you” -Jim Rohn 

This is one of my favorite quotes, you cannot expect new results with old habits and to create new habits you have to CHANGE! This is not only a physical journey but a mental and emotional one too. As your waistline shrinks, your mind expands. You find new corners of your mind when you are testing your limits. Once you see what you are capable of when you set your mind to something the rest of your life changes too

BF: Breastfeeding is a test of physical, mental and emotional fortitude. You cannot go in expecting to control it/manipulate it to how you “THOUGHT” it would be, you have to be flexible. The biggest biggest biggest thing I see is people bringing “Formula” thinking into breastfeeding. Unfortunately, as a culture we made formula feeding the standard we use in caring for a baby, and this holds especially true if your mom formula fed you, the advice she gives will come from here and that just won’t work. You have to be so flexible in your approach, you have to be mentally strong to overcome those hard days and the commentary from well-meaning mothers-in-law who have no clue what they are talking about and emotionally you are working against your own hormones. You have to change your mindset, your approach and speak kindly to yourself through all of it, to be successful in this. 

10. DO YOU BOO

This part goes along with haters gon hate. This is your life, your body your choices and as long as you are not harming yourself or anyone you have to do YOU! Nobody else can tell you how to do you, only you can and you have to stand by your conviction. If you choose, keto, vegan, whole30, Herbalife or macro counting, heck maybe you’re trying all of them that is not for anyone to say (except your doctor!) if that is good for you. Same for exclusively nursing, pumping, supplementing how you choose to go about feeding your child is between you, your baby and your pediatrician (obviously safely).  Do not let people rain on your parade, your journey is YOURS. It is your story to tell and your life to live and guess what no two stories are the same, they can be similar but yours will always be unique to you. You have to DO YOU BOO!